TELL IT LIKE IT IS….

For a novel to work, the dialogue must be natural

One of the greatest problems for beginning novelists is making a conversation between characters sound real. So often, dialogue in a scene reads artificial, staged and orchestrated, like the worst moments of theatre in a play written by a hack.

Few things annoy publishers (or readers) more than a conversation in a chapter which both feels out of place, and has obviously been put there in order to fill in space.

The two main reasons for including dialogue in a novel are to define or expand a plot point in order to convey important information, or to give greater insights into a character’s personality.

The worst mistake a writer can make is to have the characters engage in phatic conversation, just because the writer thinks that this is what two people would say when they are in each other’s company.

While you may enter a house after a hard day at work and ask your partner, “So, how was your day? Was it snowing downtown. The temperature there was below freezing all day. And it’s going to be snowing again tomorrow….”

Unless snow is a pivotal plot point in the story, then while this sort of conversation might happen, it has no place taking up the reader’s time and patience in a book. Phatic conversation is the opposite of emphatic. It’s used in normal company to be sociable, to exchange greetings and share feelings. The one thing which phatic conversation doesn’t do, however, is to provide information.

So if two characters in a novel suddenly meet in a room, there’s no point in emulating what might normally be said between them in the real world if it has no relevance to the book’s dynamics. We’re writing inside of the world of fiction. So if two of your characters meet, what’s the point of starting the conversation with a greeting? Rather, use the occasion to expand on what the reader knows of their attitudes and personalities.

Surely, it’s better to begin a conversation like this…..

Colin tentatively opened the door, and saw Yvonne standing by the fireplace. She turned in surprise, frowning when she saw him.

“I didn’t think you’d have the guts to turn up tonight.,” she said. “I had a bet with Jack that you’d chicken out of it.”

“Well, it seems you’ve lost,” said Colin.

Isn’t that so much stronger than…..

Colin walked into the room and saw Yvonne standing by the fire.

“Good evening,” he said.

“Good evening,” said Yvonne.

“How are you?” asked Colin

“Very well, thanks. Nice to see you again.”

Surely the first example of dialogue tells you so much about the apprehension and the mood of Colin as he enters the room. It tells us of the antipathy which Yvonne feels towards him, and that Colin is in for a rough night. The second example takes us nowhere in the story, nor does it say anything about the characters. And while it might be a replication of what would really happen, as a novelist, you’re writing to entertain.

The reason that phatic dialogue is so damaging in a novel, is because readers don’t just read words, but recreate the action on the page into drama in their heads. It’s called Theatre of the Mind. So as your readers are immersing themselves into the narrative, they begin to envisage the way the characters look, dress, walk, and talk. They subconsciously use the images of people they’ve known in their own lives, or characters they’ve seen in movies or on television to take on the personas of your characters.

That’s why it’s so essential to show and not to tell your readers. In an earlier blog, I quoted the Russian playwright Anton Chekhov’s advice to a writer….”Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass.” And the same applies to interactions and conversations between characters in your novel.

Don’t tell your readers things which they could and should be imagining in the theatre of their minds; don’t make your readers fidget in their chairs because your characters are involved in a dialogue which takes the action nowhere; don’t have your characters artificially explain plot points which should have been defined in action which the reader can envisage.

But most especially - do use dialogue to enhance what your readers imagine might be happening next, or to expand on a plot point which leads on to something important.

It’s one thing for Agatha Christie to have her Belgian detective Hercule Poirot gather all of the suspects into the dining room, and then surprise them, and her readers, with his brilliant insight into the person who committed the crime; but few of us have Agatha’s skill at building up tensions or planting red herrings.

As a novelist, you’re not a photographer recording the reality of a moment; you’re an entertainer, keeping your audience spellbound in their chairs, desperately turning page after page to find out what happens next.