SHOW, DON’T TELL

 One of the greatest playwrights Russia has produced, Anton Chekhov, once advised a young aspiring writer, “Don’t tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass”.

One of the mistakes caused by inexperience made by writers starting their careers, is that they tell….explain…describe…interpret…demonstrate….expound….to their readers things in their book which should be conveyed in the pictures their readers build up in their imaginations.

Showing readers allows sense and emotion, drama and understanding, to build in their mind. It allows them to become part of the action, to feel and see what the characters feel and see.

Telling them what happens dulls their participation in your book, and becomes little more than exposition carrying the weariness of a lawyer’s correspondence.

Here are examples of ‘show’ and ‘tell’, using the same characters, the same scene…..

SHOWING:

“Jack felt beads of sweat running inside his collar as he searched for the light switch in the pitch black room. He wiped his forehead and then laid his hand flat on the wall, circled where he was sure the switch should be. His heart drummed against his chest and his terror multiplied when a gust of wind howled through the window like a banshee, and struck him in the face.

TELLING:

Jack stood in the doorway of the dark room. He hated dark rooms, ever since he was a child of four or five, when his mother would turn off the light after she’d put him to bed. It took ages for his eyes to accustom to the dark, during which time he thought that there were monsters in his closet. He lifted his hand to feel just inside the doorway for the light switch but was hesitant to enter the room until it was illuminated. What made things even more terrifying for Jack, was that a sudden gust of wind and the wailing noise it made came from the window to his left.

In the ‘Showing’ example, the central point of the paragraph is Jack’s fear of the dark. We feel his fear because of the droplets of sweat and his drumming heart. It’s as though we’re in the room with him, mimicking his actions.

But in the ‘Telling’ example, We’re removed from Jack’s experience because things are explained to us as though we’re members of an audience and a lecturer is explaining how and why things are happening. In this example, we’re removed from the action by the explanations, we’re distanced and personally uninvolved, and so the central aspect of the action isn’t Jack’s actual terror, but the causes of it.

The reason that writers should show, and not tell readers, is that showing develops characters in a deeper and more emotive way, rather than just telling readers about their physical appearance and characteristics. Showing allows readers to empathise with a character’s situation, and subconsciously associate with situations in their own life.

Another example is describing a very tall person. One way is to say, “Jack was over six feet, ten inches tall.” That’s telling. But the better way, and one which will stick in a reader’s mind, is to say, “Jenny turned and looked up in surprise as Jack bent his head beneath the doorway to enable him to enter the room.”

It’s especially important to develop your character’s personal traits by showing how these are manifested, rather than telling readers that they exist.

You could say, “Malcolm was selfish and concerned only with his own needs, and didn’t care if Jackie had to do the dishes after a hard day at her office.”

Or better, show how selfish Malcolm was…..”While she was in the middle of telling Malcolm about her day in the office, he suddenly stood, leaving his plate, knife and fork on the table. He left the dining room without a word of explanation, leaving Jackie hurt, startled and stranded.”