Phyrne

Phryne (born c. 371 BC) was an ancient Greek courtesan (hetaira), from the fourth century BC.

I am Phyrne, a courtesan of ancient Greece.

I am the most beautiful woman of my age, said to be the most beautiful woman ever born. I was used as the model for statues of the Goddess Aphrodite. And I had more lovers, men and women, than I could count.

Every morning I swam naked in the Aegean Sea, and people would crowd the sands to see me emerge, wet and glistening. My behaviour scandalised Athens and the city fathers put me on trial for sinfulness. But in their zeal to see me diminished and ridiculed, they hadn’t taken into account the fact that I’m the woman who could stand up against an entire city, and succeed on my own terms.

As I was about to be pronounced guilty and sentenced to death, I stripped off my robes, exposed my breasts, and the judges said that they couldn’t condemn a woman as beautiful as me.

But while it was good for me, I wouldn’t recommend it to you modern ladies; my advice is that you shouldn’t bare your breasts if you’re in court on a speeding offence.